As I write this late entry for May, once again it has been a frustrating month.
Despite having a lovely break away with the girls http://www.johnburton.tv/diary.php?id=170 and thoroughly enjoying myself, I came home to news of a really exciting job that I'd been seen for a few weeks prior.
Most jobs you can put straight to the back of your mind when replica handbags outlet you leave the room, providing you have prepared and given it your best shot, that's all you can do – it's out of your hands.
This meeting was no different, I did what I had to do, knew I couldn't have done any better and left (for an actor, there's nothing more annoying than leaving a room, wishing you'd done something, or said something differently).
A few days later, I had a call from my agent to say there was some interest – which was great news, so I spent the rest of the holiday (apart from the bank holidays) hoping to hear something else – nothing!
When I got back, I called my agent only to be told that I was 642-902 still under serious consideration – great eh?
A few more days passed and I receive a text replica handbags outlet from my agent saying, “just had your availability double-checked”, so that's good – yes?
“Well, we're still in with a shout, that's the main thing”, came the reply. At this point I knew I was very, very close so it was just a matter of sitting and waiting.
The confirmation would have to come by 6pm that night as filming started the next day. At 6.20 p.m, came the text… “It's not going to work out but you were very close” – I was absolutely gutted. I'll always remember where I was when I received the text and the date in question. Not only would it have been a massive earner, it would have definitely lead to other things, which got me thinking.
Am I cut out to do this any more? I've been in the game nearly 17 years and had many highs, ups and joys but with these have come lows, downs and sorrows and this latest episode made me think, do I need this heartache which must be damaging not only to me, but those around me, when they see their loved one in a state of despair and frustration.
I then had a text from a very well known actor whom I've got to know in the last year and whose words of wisdom really struck a chord with me (this is a guy who is instantly recognisable, worked on some of the biggest things ever produced on TV and a really good, nice bloke), he said he was “struggling to even get seen by casting directors at the moment and if you're being seen for jobs – you're doing well”.
I texted back – “what's worse, not being seen, or going through all the heartache of eventually not getting the job”.
His response was brilliant – “John, if you're not getting in the door, you'll definitely not get the job”, how true and thanks mate, you know who you are, those words helped me realise how lucky I really am, even though I may fall at the final hurdle and not win, I still ran a half decent race!
Anyway, here endeth the lesson, we continue onward and upward ever in the hope that one of those meetings turns into a great job, oh, and England win Euro 2012!!